A week ago, 16-year old Ralph Yarl went, at the request of his mother, to pick up his younger twin brothers from a friends’ house. The younger boys had been invited to a sleepover, but their mom wasn’t comfortable with them spending the night. So, she gave the address to her older son and sent him to bring them home. Ralph made the innocent mistake of going to 115th Street instead of 115th Terrace. He rang the doorbell, expecting his younger brothers to come running out to him. Instead, when the door opened, the owner shot Ralph in the head and again in the arm after he had fallen to the ground. Ralph, amazingly, survived the shooting and is recovering physically. The emotional and psychological wounds may take a lifetime to heal.

This event has an impact far beyond Ralph and his immediate family. And that is why I believe it is important for us as Christians to reflect on this tragedy together. This is the first time I’ve written a response to a race-related shooting, even though many have happened before. In responding to this event, I am not implying that the others were not worthy of response.

In some ways, this event is different. There is no way, or at least there shouldn’t be, for either political side to leverage this for their own agenda. This event has a simplicity that forces people to see the reality of racism in our country. Either the homeowner came to do the door with the intention to shoot whomever was on the other side, or there was something about Ralph that caused the man to shoot. The man told police that he “feared for his life” and was “scared to death” when he saw Ralph. At best, this man was harboring unconscious bias that assumed every young Black man was out to kill him. At worst, full grown racism produced a desire to take the life of a Black person. The difference between the two was inconsequential for Ralph. While innocently going about the duties of life, he was shot simply because he is Black.

The truth is, I’m also writing because I am different. Through conversations with brothers and sisters of color in the church and through self-education, I am beginning to understand the impact of these tragic events upon people I deeply love. Those whom God has entrusted to my pastoral care are affected by these events in ways I can never even imagine. I’m learning that understanding and empathy are essential to the experience of true unity within the family of God. The shooting of Ralph Yarl is an opportunity to gain understanding and choose empathy for the sake of unity within the multi-ethnic church God has blessed us to be.

This tragic event is a painful reminder that terrible things still happen to Black people just because they are Black. While people of color have lived their entire lives aware of this reality, tragedies like this bring the possibility closer to home. In a very literal way, Ralph’s experience represents a reality that every person of color has faced—one never knows which “door” racism is hiding behind. It can present at any time and in many ways—suspicions, assumptions, micro aggressions, and sometimes much worse. It’s the unpredictability that is so exhausting and unsettling. And, as this story shows, the biggest risk is to assume that a place or person is safe only to find that it was not. This is where the deepest wounds are created, not just physically but also emotionally and relationally. We all long for safety and security, to feel like we can live without guardedness or fear. Empathy, in this case, is grieving with those who lack that in a world where terrible things still happen to people simply because of the color of their skin.

Unity across ethnic and racial divides has always been a priority for God and a product of the Gospel. In the decades following the resurrection of Jesus, the first generation of Christians had to learn how to embrace racial unity. To two groups of people who were worlds apart, divided by race and politics and religion and power, Paul wrote—“For he himself (Jesus) is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility… His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace, and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility” (Ephesians 2:14-16). For those of every race and color who are willing to get uncomfortable in the pursuit of greater love and unity within the family of God, let me encourage you toward the following:

Examine your heart —Ask God to reveal any seeds of bias, prejudice or racism that exist in you. Pay attention to how you think about people who are different than you. Notice the assumptions you make, the fears you harbor, the suspicions that creep in. Be honest with yourself and God. And ask for the Spirit to root out any weeds that will choke out the love that the Spirit wants to produce in you. Be eager to show grace and willing to build trust.
Empathize with your brothers and sisters —Spend more time listening than talking (James 1:21). Hear the stories of people who don’t look like you and who experience the world differently than you. If you’re White and you have a relationship with a person of color, ask how a tragedy like this affects them. When I reached out to a Black friend this week, he expressed the very real emotions related to the door-to-door visits he makes for work. I wouldn’t have known what he and his family are feeling without that conversation. Now, I can know, love, and pray for him better. There’s a reason empathy and unity are woven together in Romans 12:15-16—“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another.”
Expand your perspective —It’s no one’s fault that they start off only seeing from their perspective. Learning takes time and effort, but it is worth it. My encouragement is to find a way to educate yourself on this topic by reading or listening to something that offers a different point of view. One book that I’ve read and discussed is How We Love Matters by Albert Tate. There are a lot of resources out there. This is just one of the books I’m familiar with. If you’re new to this topic, it will make you uncomfortable. So, if you do the work to read it and want to talk with me about it, I promise to make time for that.

Unity requires all of us to be committed to giving and receiving love, grace, trust, and compassion. As followers of Jesus, we are assured that one day we will live in a renewed and restored world that is free from hatred, violence, racism, and all the other things that tear our world apart. My heart longs for that day, especially when I see the brokenness of this world and when I hear the broken hearts of my brothers and sisters. Racial unity is hard work and empathy hurts. But it’s worth it because it is a beautiful way to bring the Kingdom of Heaven to earth right now. And while we work together toward that, let’s pray for Ralph and his family.

Jared Cowgur
Lead Pastor