Amy D. was baptized Sunday, January 16th as an expression of her faith in Jesus and desire to live with Him as King. Read her powerful baptism story and celebrate with us.
I’ve always felt a strong connection to God and, while I believed in Jesus, I lacked a personal relationship with Him. As a child, I was raised Catholic, but I began to have doubts about what I believed. I lived with my parents, my older brother, and my sister. What was once a happy, loving, and safe home for the first ten years of my existence had turned into a dark, unsafe place, driven by alcoholism, conflict, and resentment, and dominated by emotional neglect, fear, and violence. This progressively unstable environment lacking accountability, respectful communication, honesty, acceptance, love, and affection created a habitat where dysfunctional relationships developed and thrived so effortlessly that broken relationships within a shattered family still exist today. At twelve years old, I started running away from home and had become very rebellious, but even after my parents divorced two years later, my defiant behavior had become a way of life for me. I was expelled from high school in 9th grade, and a few months later at only 14, I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, Tyesha. This did not sit well with either side of my Catholic family. My father's parents completely disowned me and sadly for the twenty years preceding their deaths, rejected me and any willingness to reconcile. My mom's parents were devoted to their Catholic faith and were dedicated to living in alignment with Christ. They were very loving, supportive, and always constant in my life; however, my grandfather’s response to my pregnancy was one of disappointment and distance and it drove a wedge in our relationship. It took time to break down his stubbornness, for Jesus to soften his tough-loving heart. Through love, patience, and understanding, our reconciliation led to a deeper, spiritual bond. His actions spoke volumes to me.
I had Tyesha baptized in the Catholic church, but not without being shamed for my sin, leaving me feeling unworthy of Jesus, and I turned my back on the religion. In 2003, I lived in New York, far away from my family, and in a new relationship when my son, Santiago, was born. My world quickly devolved into the same nightmare of alcoholism and domestic abuse that I had experienced as a child, except this time I was the one with the power to break the cycle. Immediately after graduating from nursing school, I packed up my kids and moved back to Rhode Island and never looked back. In 2011, God answered one of my oldest and deepest prayers and blessed me with my soul mate, my best friend, my husband, Amauri, who wouldn’t just love me unconditionally, but my two children also. We welcomed our son Jaylin into our divine, loving family. Through this love came stability, grace, and togetherness that I never knew existed.
As I embarked on a personal journey of growth, forgiveness, and healing, I knew only God had the power to bring me the internal peace I was longing for, but I didn’t know how to get closer to Him. After years of witnessing my daughter’s battle with depression, she faithfully turned to Jesus every time and remained invested in her Christian faith. She had been attending a Christian church for a couple of years, and I attended service with her, hoping to find Jesus, but the divisive, self-righteous tone being preached was completely incongruent with my core beliefs about God. Months later, when her depression struck, she turned to the church elders for spiritual guidance. She was told the church was not the place to bring mental health issues and asked she no longer attend their church. She was devastated, and I was infuriated! Jesus would have never turned her away. I lost all interest and trust in finding Jesus at any church. Shortly after the pandemic began, she found an online church that offered courses of study. She studied each course intensely, but I started to notice her beliefs had shifted from an all-loving God to one of condemnation, punishment, and an extreme Us vs. Them mentality. These false teachings lead her down a path of spiritual abuse, one that would wreak havoc on her faith. After experiencing all these misrepresentations and false teachings of Jesus, I was no longer willing to take the risk.
Then 2020, the year of uncertainty and anxiety happened and everything I love, the most important parts of my being, my career as a nurse, my husband, and my beautiful brown-skinned children, their equality and safety, all seemed to be under attack. My anxiety levels constantly felt unbearable, worries consumed my mind, and my long, bad habit of trying to control things fell out of reach. After years of family members recommending BridgePointe, my daughter started to attend and loved it. Witnessing her trust again for the sake of Jesus spoke volumes to me. My daughter had always insisted that Jesus was the only way to God, and yet I always avoided opening that door. This past August, my daughter’s deep depression had taken hold again, leaving her completely hopeless and me completely helpless, but this time was different; she had supportive people surrounding her, especially Michelle Cabral, who reassured us in words and actions that BridgePointe was a safe, supportive place and it has proven to be. There’s a different yet positive energy that radiates through the people I have connected with; I can feel their sincerity and genuine love for Jesus, each other, and meaningful relationships. Once I felt that, I knew for sure, this is the company I want to be around!
Tyesha scheduled a meeting with Rachel and Jared and asked me to come for support. We had a meaningful conversation and their positive, genuine support reassured me to trust again. Jared invited me to attend service for a new series, The King has Come, that was a great way for me to start learning. With only an open mind and open heart, my daughter and I showed up each Sunday. Each week I could feel my thoughts shifting and heart changing, leaving me eager to learn more. We attended Bible Lab, which personally made the Bible much easier to read and understand. I met with Rachel for lunch to discuss Jesus on a more personal level. She made a reference about turning to Jesus for rest when life gets overwhelming, and despite being beyond overwhelmed with anxiety and stress at that time, I still didn't get it.
Sunday’s service on October 17th was “Good Soil” about the parable of the sower. Jared’s words struck chords in my heart and suddenly I felt a rush of intense emotions, flooded thoughts related to what was being said. With tears flowing, hiding under my mask, I walked out of service and went to my car to let out all my emotions I was feeling. The intensity may have shifted but that powerful presence was still in me for the days to follow. I felt at war but at peace, afraid but brave, overwhelmed yet calm. I couldn’t articulate what was happening.
That Tuesday evening, I was just hanging with the kids when I felt that same rush of emotions strike again. I tried to push it aside in front of my kids, but it was too powerful. I went outside for solitude and sat down. As the tears poured, I just accepted and allowed what was happening to happen. Suddenly, in my mind, I could see vivid fast video clips of everything I was struggling to control and manage in every aspect of my life, and the last clip was Rachel that day at lunch talking about turning to Jesus for rest. Everything went white and silent and I heard a voice within me say “I AM the rest!” I knew at that moment, it was Jesus! Since that moment, I’ve been blessed with so much wisdom and clarity, my heart filled with more compassion, patience, and understanding. Jesus is what I needed! I’ve done it without Him, and I never want to live without Him again.